E is for everything. A is for attention. R is reward. N is for now.
Daniel and I have been speaking about getting things, specifically how people get things they want. And I am not talking about respect and love. Even though we do speak to those and I still think that is earned.
But Mr. Daniel really needed a conversation about how things are earned not just given when they are asked for. Now, I have to explain- we have two orbs that surround Dan-it’s called mommy and daddy. Mommy and daddy don’t live in the same home for several reasons. But one reason is our different opinions on how we get things and more when we get things. I think we both understand what it means to earn but I think we differ in the depth and breadth of that. I won’t speak on behalf of the daddy orb-it’s solely based on my perception based on the prior actions. But let me speak on behalf me, mommy.
Scenario: Daniel has many toys. STILL UNOPENED FROM CHRISTMAS! But really, he has just has a lot of toys; 4 rooms worth of toys, let’s just say. He also has a desktop computer, a lap top, a 3DS XL, a 2DS, and an Iphone 6S-as of today-a month ago he had the 6 Plus. Another story to be told.
Daniel would like the MacBook Pro. He likes to record videos for his YouTube account and would like to step it up to the next level of editing. He feels that he would benefit in school too based on the new programs he learns and he thoroughly enjoys writing so it would help him to write more efficiently. The kid is a good salesman-takes after daddy on that. But I, as the consumer, had some questions for him. Because I am the interrogator!
I asked questions that concerned his:about accountability, cost, reliability and really why does he need it.
I heard this: Dad can give you the money. I won’t drop or lose it; I’ll carry it in a nice case. I will learn how to use it and go to the Apple Store with you. My friend is getting one from his uncle.
Daniel then heard this from me: I am willing to buy you anything-if you earn it-Daniel! I don’t need money from your father.
I think, however that an 8 year old, really needs to understand what goes into purchasing an item like this. I talk with him about his daily responsibilities and how he isn’t really yon point with those so how can earn something when he doesn’t even go the bare minimum. I discuss with him that this isn’t a toy, this would be an investment. And I am not trying to purchase this tomorrow or next week or even next month but I am willing to look at it, think about it and set some standards.
So off to the mall we went and looked at the MacBook Air, MacBook Pro and MacBook. Even though he has his eyes set on one of the three. I needed to understand their differences and similarities, including cost and accessibility. And in the end, the bang for my buck is in the MacBook Pro. Now Dan will be 9 in June. So I said to him that this is a good investment but this isn’t a given. You are not entitled to this. You need to EARN it. And no, not by doing your homework and brushing your teeth. But by going above and beyond your normal routines. By following the routine and by asking “what more can I do.” That’s what will get you to a MacBook Pro.
So many questions I want to ask of you: the two parent two household struggle; the generation; the availability…what’s going on here!
Let’s check in on this again in month. Feel free to leave comments! Even words of wisdom for my little man.